Look into your crystal ball...

Marie came over last night and had a heart-to-heart with me. Our belief is that when my brother left home when I was 5 and died when I was 9, my mom wrapped this protective barrier around me, and I did the same thing, only with food. But now, I don't need to protect that little girl. I need to SHED that extra stuff and protect myself, encouraging a long, healthy life, with better choices. There's no need for that barrier anymore. When I was in therapy a while back, it really dawned on me that I'm comfortable with being overweight. I'm comfortable having hubby help me with my socks and shoes. I'm comfortable with having to ask for a table at a restaurant. I'm comfortable having to order my clothes from a catalog. I'm comfortable not being able to fit in a bathtub. I'm comfortable stuffing my face with things that, while they taste good, are killing me. Killing me softly...but killing me. When I talked with hubby yesterday, we discussed how I have my eyes on what I'm losing right now, looking back in the mirror at the way I used to eat whatever I wanted when I wanted. I need to smash that mirror and look forward. Maybe I need to pull out my crystal ball and see what COULD be, see what WILL be if I continue to do this. And, hubby is so excited, I could never back out of this. It's like Olivia on Jerseylicious...she had that "Vision Board" or "Dream Board", can't remember exactly. Either way, she talked about manifesting the things on it. Well, I have a small corkboard on my desk where I can see it. There are pictures of the beach, of course, a card from hubby, and a note from one of my bosses thanking me. But, I also have a picture of the Bahamas, Italy and two pictures of me around 240 pounds. I hope they manifest themselves. LOL :)