I’m trying to keep this thing updated as much as possible. I had a treat last night. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I had a small peanut butter shake. But, I’m not going to beat myself up over it. It was one treat, and it’s not going to turn over the wagon, right? I’m still getting up between 5:30 and 5:45 to go to the gym every morning. I think tomorrow morning, we’re going to shoot basketball instead of getting in the pool. I think the girls out there probably know why. ;) Anyway, we’re going to visit my hubby’s family this weekend out of town, so he’s gone shopping today while he’s off to get us some healthy breakfast foods and snacks to eat while we’re there. I can’t be eating a Hardee’s biscuit for breakfast every morning, and I can’t be eating non-diet-friendly snacks they have around the house for the grandkids…and Pawpaw, LOL! :)
On a side note, we went to a used book store last night, and hubby actually didn’t spend an hour in there. He found three books in a matter of maybe 10 minutes, and I picked up “Message in a Bottle” by Nicholas Sparks. He made the point that I haven’t read the three Sophie Kinsella “Confessions of a Shopaholic” books I have at home now. I’m workin’ on it!!! He’s a fast reader, I’m not. I get sleepy when I read. Anyway, everyone have a great 4th! :)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Trudging Along
So, today was day #4 of getting up at 5:30 a.m. to go to the gym. We’ve decided Monday, Wednesday and Friday will be water aerobics, and Tuesday and Thursday will be strength training. I’m feeling really good. I can move easier. I’ve kind of got near the back of the wagon today with these little Quaker Rice Cakes 90-calorie packs. They’re so good, I can’t help it. :( Darn you, Quaker, and your white chocolate drizzle-y goodness! Darn you! As of yesterday, though, I’ve lost 4-1/2 pounds. I’m trying to weigh every two or three days, not every day. Getting up early and going to the gym gives me more time in the evening, too. I’ve been trying to do one load of laundry each night and catching up on my Confessions of a Shopaholic series reading. Feels good to get stuff done.
I’m at the point I get to every time I try to start losing weight. It’s getting hard to say no to food, even when I don’t have any pent-up feelings being channeled toward it. I’m having to be really strong and say “NO, you don’t need that.” I know it will be hard when I hit a weight loss plateau, too. Seeing results makes it easier for me to keep going. I need to take my measurements and see how I shrink.
OK, this is off-topic, but I’m looking for a cute purse with a ribbon/bow for spring. A girl in my Sunday School class gave me the name of a girl who’s made purses for her and her mom before and would probably make one for me. I’ve e-mailed her, so we’ll see what she says.
My Meme is sick. :( She’s sneezing, and her little nose is warm and dry, not cold and wet. The vet said if she’s eating the same amount and has the same energy level (which she is/does), she’s probably just got a cold or even allergies. They said if it gets worse, or if I see any changes in her, to bring her in for a shot. I just worry a little, because she’s had an upper respiratory infection before. I guess we’ll just wait and see.
I’m at the point I get to every time I try to start losing weight. It’s getting hard to say no to food, even when I don’t have any pent-up feelings being channeled toward it. I’m having to be really strong and say “NO, you don’t need that.” I know it will be hard when I hit a weight loss plateau, too. Seeing results makes it easier for me to keep going. I need to take my measurements and see how I shrink.
OK, this is off-topic, but I’m looking for a cute purse with a ribbon/bow for spring. A girl in my Sunday School class gave me the name of a girl who’s made purses for her and her mom before and would probably make one for me. I’ve e-mailed her, so we’ll see what she says.
My Meme is sick. :( She’s sneezing, and her little nose is warm and dry, not cold and wet. The vet said if she’s eating the same amount and has the same energy level (which she is/does), she’s probably just got a cold or even allergies. They said if it gets worse, or if I see any changes in her, to bring her in for a shot. I just worry a little, because she’s had an upper respiratory infection before. I guess we’ll just wait and see.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Say what?
So, I got up this morning at 5:45 to go to the gym…no, seriously. Steven went with me, and we did weights for about 20 minutes. I know, that’s not much, but we had to be back home by 6:45 to start getting ready for work. It technically opens at 6:00, but someone this morning had signed in at 5:35, so obviously, someone comes in earlier. I think we’ll do water aerobics tomorrow. Have to get there earlier than we did today, though.
Why am I doing this, you may ask. I had an awesome group therapy session last night. From what I told them, others recognized that I stress eat (I didn’t think I did that) and that when I can’t express my feelings and emotions, I express myself by eating. It was very clear to me after that. They asked how the gym thing had been going, and I said we were trying to make a plan go to Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings and stick to it, no matter what. Dr. Dave suggested that I go in the mornings and do it every day to get into the habit. We think what we’re going to do is Monday through Friday mornings and take the weekends off. Honestly, it wasn’t bad. I was more awake and alert this morning than I usually am at 6:45. I think I sleep too much, and ultimately, that makes me feel bad.
I’ve done pretty well today. I had cereal for breakfast, a PB&J sandwich for a snack, and for lunch, I had some Laughing Cow and Triscuits, a small stack of ham, turkey, cheese and crackers and some one 90-calorie pack of rice cakes. For my snack this afternoon, I’ve had my other PB&J sandwich. Keep in mind, this is on whole wheat bread, and it’s not smothered with PB&J. I still have my Sun Chips, and I may or may not eat them. I know it sounds like I’ve eaten a lot, but I really think starting my day with exercise boosted my metabolism. :)
Why am I doing this, you may ask. I had an awesome group therapy session last night. From what I told them, others recognized that I stress eat (I didn’t think I did that) and that when I can’t express my feelings and emotions, I express myself by eating. It was very clear to me after that. They asked how the gym thing had been going, and I said we were trying to make a plan go to Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings and stick to it, no matter what. Dr. Dave suggested that I go in the mornings and do it every day to get into the habit. We think what we’re going to do is Monday through Friday mornings and take the weekends off. Honestly, it wasn’t bad. I was more awake and alert this morning than I usually am at 6:45. I think I sleep too much, and ultimately, that makes me feel bad.
I’ve done pretty well today. I had cereal for breakfast, a PB&J sandwich for a snack, and for lunch, I had some Laughing Cow and Triscuits, a small stack of ham, turkey, cheese and crackers and some one 90-calorie pack of rice cakes. For my snack this afternoon, I’ve had my other PB&J sandwich. Keep in mind, this is on whole wheat bread, and it’s not smothered with PB&J. I still have my Sun Chips, and I may or may not eat them. I know it sounds like I’ve eaten a lot, but I really think starting my day with exercise boosted my metabolism. :)
Friday, June 19, 2009
oops
Well, I stumbled. I didn’t exactly fall on my face, but I stumbled. I guess this is confession time. Last night, I bought a box of Fiber One blueberry muffins. The second ingredient was whole wheat flour, so I thought, “OK, this will be OK.” We’d had apple muffins the night before, and somebody ate the majority of them – not me, believe it or not. ;) So, I decided to get another box of mix. Wednesday night’s box made 9, this box made 10. I had a couple, then a little while later, I walked through the kitchen and grabbed another. I got up at 11:45 for a drink of Kool-Aid and got another one. *sigh* I didn’t mention earlier that the first ingredient was sugar, did I? I didn’t think so. We went out to eat last night at KFC, and we got the buffet. Fortunately, though, each of us only had one plateful. I had one piece of chicken, half a cup of mashed potatoes, some green beans and a little bit of corn. No biscuit, no dessert, yay me! So, I guess the day wasn’t a total loss food-wise. Just pick myself up and start again, right? I have so many people behind me. :)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Hello, stranger!
I know it’s been a long time since I updated, but here I am. To be honest, I’d just given up on the whole thing. I wasn’t mentally prepared for it. I’ve been going to therapy for about a month now, and I’ve learned alot. We’ve discovered I probably have a good deal of pent-up anger about something. I’m thinking it’s maybe related to my suffering with OCD, but we don’t know for sure yet. I have a “princess complex,” in that all my life, I’ve been treated like one. I’ve gotten the majority of what I wanted from everyone all my life, and I was really upset when I didn’t. For example – most of the time, I got jobs easily, and when I didn’t, I was heartbroken, wondering what I’d done wrong. This was ME, for crying out loud, didn’t they know that? I tend to bottle up the anger if I don’t get my way with someone I love. I turn most anger in my life toward myself. The aspect of my OCD that causes me to compulsively pick my skin and dig sores into myself, I believe, is due to some anger. I also feel like my eating habits are self-hatred. As Dr. Dave would say, “You’re mean as hell to yourself. You dig holes into your skin, and you stuff yourself.” By eating so much and being so large, I alienate myself from others – the one thing I don’t want. It’s kind of like punishing myself. I know this is all jumbled up and might sound like psychobabble, but it makes sense to me. I told Dr. Dave that I look at pictures of myself when I had lost a good deal of weight, and it makes me sad. He, again, thinks there’s probably some anger there, too, not just sadness. He asked me if it made me sad or angry that I couldn’t do things other people could and that the majority of people shuns me at my size. I said, “I think I’ve just gotten comfortable with it. I don’t let it bother me anymore.” He said, “Well, I think you need to get UNcomfortable. You need to let it make you angry or sad or whatever.” I think that’s gonna be the key to motivating me. I don’t deserve to settle. I deserve to live life to the fullest in every way. I hope this is it. I almost don’t want to jinx myself by blogging about it, talking about it, even thinking about it. But, let’s be honest, that’s not going to be what makes me give up. What makes me give up is my comfort level with my situation. I need to get uncomfortable. I think looking at the pictures and thinking about the things Dr. Dave mentioned will help, but I don’t think it’s the missing piece. I think there’s more to motivate me. I just need to find out what it is.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Yes, I'm still here.
Just been really struggling. Feel like I've tried everything, down to the last resort, and I just can't budge. I know what it is now. It's the whole idea of being able to do what I want, and it manifests itself as eating what I want. *sigh* I did hear a song today that really touched me. Laugh if you must, but it's "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus.
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
JM <3
Well, I lost half a pound yesterday. OK, technically, I believe it was either .2 or .4 of a pounds, but whatever. I'm claiming half a pound! I'm still struggling with my food issues. It's an everyday thing, but that's OK. It is for alot of people. Our exercise specialist talked to us yesterday, along with the nutrionist. The exercise specialist wanted us to make a chart and be competitive with each other. Like, whoever does the most activity (one gold star equaling 10 minutes) gets a prize they've been wanting. Like for me, it WOULD have been John Mayer tickets, but it doesn't look good for a tour this year. That's OK, though, I'd rather him have a new album drop. Speaking of my third favorite man (Steven and Dad are the top two), he posted this on his blog after winning two Grammys Sunday night.
Wow.
Thank you everyone.
You know, it's a blessing to know that you can learn how to truly appreciate something while it's still around... I'm beyond lucky to learn how to accept the beautiful life I have without saying "I wish I knew then what I know now"... Sure, I'm a goofball (I'm generally just uncomfortable), and I have a lot more lessons to really take in, but to know that I can grow and change and trip and try to turn it into a dance while I'm still in the center of living my dream is just about the greatest thing ever.
I think Jason Mraz wrote, recorded and SANG one of the best songs of 2008, and I hope this makes it back to him...
To everyone waiting under the machine that drops records into their hands, be patient, stay tuned, and remember that I'll never stop thinking about you.
I'm going to bed!
thank you
thank you
thank you
John
*sigh* Ain't he grand?
So, my sister-in-law is on Facebook, yay! She posted some of the cutest pics of my nieces. Seven-year-old Courtney is ALWAYS posing, it's too funny.
Wow.
Thank you everyone.
You know, it's a blessing to know that you can learn how to truly appreciate something while it's still around... I'm beyond lucky to learn how to accept the beautiful life I have without saying "I wish I knew then what I know now"... Sure, I'm a goofball (I'm generally just uncomfortable), and I have a lot more lessons to really take in, but to know that I can grow and change and trip and try to turn it into a dance while I'm still in the center of living my dream is just about the greatest thing ever.
I think Jason Mraz wrote, recorded and SANG one of the best songs of 2008, and I hope this makes it back to him...
To everyone waiting under the machine that drops records into their hands, be patient, stay tuned, and remember that I'll never stop thinking about you.
I'm going to bed!
thank you
thank you
thank you
John
*sigh* Ain't he grand?
So, my sister-in-law is on Facebook, yay! She posted some of the cutest pics of my nieces. Seven-year-old Courtney is ALWAYS posing, it's too funny.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday...fun.
Well, today at 1:15 is weigh-in. I’m sure I’ve either stayed the same or gained a couple of pounds. That ooey-gooey cheesy goodness at Panera last week is gonna do me in, I’m sure of it. We really have to get serious about our eating plan. We’re eating OK things, but we need to cut back on our starches (to four a day) and up the fruits/veggies. I finally ate a small salad last night after like three or four days of not having one. I wanna get serious, plan things out, and that’s what we eat...period. We walked down and back up the hill in our neighborhood last night. Thought we’d die, but we made it! We tried to go to the gym yesterday to do water aerobics, but there were like 10 people in that little pool, mostly kids. We thought we’d come back later, but didn’t, just decided to walk instead.
Yesterday was Mom’s birthday, and we all went to lunch together. My dad looks crazy, LOL! And, I couldn’t fix the red-eye on Mom, oh well. Aren’t they cute, though? I swear, my mom is me in 30 years.
My dad said the sweetest prayer yesterday before we ate, talking about how much he loved Mom and how he didn’t know what he’d do without her. Honestly, when I was younger, they argued ALOT. I don’t know what’s changed, but they’re nothing like that now. I mean, they’ll have little spats and arguments, but nothing like years ago.
We went to Circuit City Saturday to look for a Taylor Swift CD and a Katy Perry CD, but no such luck. Talk about picked over! But, we did find a racing game for our PS2. I beat the pants off Steven last night - three times, mwahahaha! *evil grin* And, he wonders why I won’t let him drive. ;) JUST KIDDING, SWEETIE! :-* I need to go to Wal-Mart later, tons of things to buy.
OH, John Mayer won two Grammys last night, woohoo! I believe one was for “Say” and one was for “Gravity”. We were playing that video game until 9:00, and then I went to bed. (Yeah, I know, I’m like 98 or something.) I’ll have to catch his performance and acceptance speeches on YouTube - OH, and his red carpet interview(s). Those are always pricesless.
Yesterday was Mom’s birthday, and we all went to lunch together. My dad looks crazy, LOL! And, I couldn’t fix the red-eye on Mom, oh well. Aren’t they cute, though? I swear, my mom is me in 30 years.
My dad said the sweetest prayer yesterday before we ate, talking about how much he loved Mom and how he didn’t know what he’d do without her. Honestly, when I was younger, they argued ALOT. I don’t know what’s changed, but they’re nothing like that now. I mean, they’ll have little spats and arguments, but nothing like years ago.
We went to Circuit City Saturday to look for a Taylor Swift CD and a Katy Perry CD, but no such luck. Talk about picked over! But, we did find a racing game for our PS2. I beat the pants off Steven last night - three times, mwahahaha! *evil grin* And, he wonders why I won’t let him drive. ;) JUST KIDDING, SWEETIE! :-* I need to go to Wal-Mart later, tons of things to buy.
OH, John Mayer won two Grammys last night, woohoo! I believe one was for “Say” and one was for “Gravity”. We were playing that video game until 9:00, and then I went to bed. (Yeah, I know, I’m like 98 or something.) I’ll have to catch his performance and acceptance speeches on YouTube - OH, and his red carpet interview(s). Those are always pricesless.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Darn you, Panera!
So, here we are, TGIF!!! :) Things have been a little crazy this week, sorry for the lack of updates.
My mom’s friend gave me the cutest watch. It’s silver and has little cats and food bowls and says “Meow” and “I love kittens!” Sweet. Speaking of my mom, Sunday’s her birthday, and we’re taking her to lunch. She has a favorite little hole in the wall restaurant, but it’s up in the mountains and doesn’t open until Valentine’s Day, I think. AND, speaking of V-Day, I think Hubby and I are staying in this time, probably make a nice, romantic, candlelit dinner and watch a movie or something. My choice of chick flick, of course!
I was supposed to go weigh Wednesday, but we had snow, and Steven didn’t want me to be out driving around more than I had to. So, we rescheduled for Monday, but in the meantime, I’m going this afternoon, since we close early, and weigh. I’m thinking I’ve either not lost or gained a couple. I know, I know! I cheated this week, though - remember “Letter to Myself”? And, I was using Panera broccoli cheese soup to get myself used to the taste of broccoli. Well, I’ve had it like three or four times this week...OK, maybe five. That’s not gonna help the scale, it’s just hitting me. Darn you, Panera, and your cheesy goodness! *sigh* Wish me luck, maybe a miracle will happen! Speaking of that, I was listening to “Healer” in the car on the way to lunch. It’s one of the songs we’ll be doing in Praise Choir this Sunday, so I’m trying to learn it. Such a moving song. “I believe You’re my Healer...I believe You’re more than enough for me...You calm my raging storm...You heal all my disease.” Made me think alot about my OCD and how I’m healthy now. :)
Hey, don’t forget - clicky clicky on the ads to the right and at the bottom of the page, people! I get money for that...well, after I get up to $100. Right now, I have $25, LOL! Hey, it’s a start!
My mom’s friend gave me the cutest watch. It’s silver and has little cats and food bowls and says “Meow” and “I love kittens!” Sweet. Speaking of my mom, Sunday’s her birthday, and we’re taking her to lunch. She has a favorite little hole in the wall restaurant, but it’s up in the mountains and doesn’t open until Valentine’s Day, I think. AND, speaking of V-Day, I think Hubby and I are staying in this time, probably make a nice, romantic, candlelit dinner and watch a movie or something. My choice of chick flick, of course!
I was supposed to go weigh Wednesday, but we had snow, and Steven didn’t want me to be out driving around more than I had to. So, we rescheduled for Monday, but in the meantime, I’m going this afternoon, since we close early, and weigh. I’m thinking I’ve either not lost or gained a couple. I know, I know! I cheated this week, though - remember “Letter to Myself”? And, I was using Panera broccoli cheese soup to get myself used to the taste of broccoli. Well, I’ve had it like three or four times this week...OK, maybe five. That’s not gonna help the scale, it’s just hitting me. Darn you, Panera, and your cheesy goodness! *sigh* Wish me luck, maybe a miracle will happen! Speaking of that, I was listening to “Healer” in the car on the way to lunch. It’s one of the songs we’ll be doing in Praise Choir this Sunday, so I’m trying to learn it. Such a moving song. “I believe You’re my Healer...I believe You’re more than enough for me...You calm my raging storm...You heal all my disease.” Made me think alot about my OCD and how I’m healthy now. :)
Hey, don’t forget - clicky clicky on the ads to the right and at the bottom of the page, people! I get money for that...well, after I get up to $100. Right now, I have $25, LOL! Hey, it’s a start!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
short and sweet
Well, here we are again. I’m afraid I’ve gained this week, like 2 pounds or more, I just have this feeling. Plus, I was 2 pounds heavier this morning than I was yesterday morning - that kind of clued me in, LOL! Well, I DID cheat this week, and our dinner last night wasn’t very calorie/fat-friendly (Jersey Mike’s). I’ve got to fight the urge to get Cheddar Rounds at 10:00, because I don’t have a snack here this morning. But, I’ve been drinking my Kool-Aid, and that usually fills me up.
I’m thinking about getting my paralegal certification or whatever it is with a paralegal. First, I’d make more money, and second, I’d feel better about myself. I think I could do it. I learn pretty easily, and I’m very detailed with the documents I produce. The nearest program is in Knoxville, though, as far as I know. I e-mailed someone I used to work with at the local university and have asked for their direction on who could give me information. There’s a school of law at UT Knoxville, that’s probably where I’ll get directed. We shall see.
This was short, I know, but that’s all the happenings in my life for today...
I’m thinking about getting my paralegal certification or whatever it is with a paralegal. First, I’d make more money, and second, I’d feel better about myself. I think I could do it. I learn pretty easily, and I’m very detailed with the documents I produce. The nearest program is in Knoxville, though, as far as I know. I e-mailed someone I used to work with at the local university and have asked for their direction on who could give me information. There’s a school of law at UT Knoxville, that’s probably where I’ll get directed. We shall see.
This was short, I know, but that’s all the happenings in my life for today...
Sunday, February 1, 2009
easy like Sunday mornin'
OK, so it's more like Sunday afternoon right now, but still...I have to have creative titles for these blog entries
Today's been pretty boring. We filed our taxes last night, and while we won't be getting back as much as we hoped and thought, we're still getting a refund. Whoopee! So, we went to Circuit City today, looking for a deal on a laptop, since they're going out of business. I'm now typing on a new Sony Vaio, and it's sweet! The only thing is, our stupid wireless internet here at home won't work with it. I have it plugged in with a cable right now, but I'm taking it to Panera tomorrow at lunch to make sure it's not something with the computer. I hope not, all sales are final, LOL! And, I get to eat lunch at Panera! Bonus!
We got up early this morning and went to early service as usual. Our choir leader's baby is still in the hospital, so she wasn't there. :( Then, we went to Sunday School and on to lunch at Quizno's. I had a regular size on wheat with cubed chicken, mozzerella (sp?) and marina sauce. It's not on the menu, but they make it for me and it's DELISH! Then, we headed to the hospital to visit our praise choir leader and her little boy. After that, we went to Circuit City and got the laptop and a case. $700 for everything. Not bad.
Yesterday, we went to lunch with my bridesmaids and then to a movie. Steven went to see Underworld, but we went to see Bride Wars. It was so cute and sweet. I cried. (Big surprise.) I highly recommend it. The next one I want to see is He's Just Not That Into You and then Madea Goes to Jail. The Madea movies are hilarious! I think my favorite is Madea's Family Reunion, but there's also Diary of a Mad Black Woman. They have a really good message, but they're funny, too.
Tonight, we're making homemade low-fat broccoli cheese soup and a small steak. I'm excited! I hope I've lost another bit on Wednesday.
Today's been pretty boring. We filed our taxes last night, and while we won't be getting back as much as we hoped and thought, we're still getting a refund. Whoopee! So, we went to Circuit City today, looking for a deal on a laptop, since they're going out of business. I'm now typing on a new Sony Vaio, and it's sweet! The only thing is, our stupid wireless internet here at home won't work with it. I have it plugged in with a cable right now, but I'm taking it to Panera tomorrow at lunch to make sure it's not something with the computer. I hope not, all sales are final, LOL! And, I get to eat lunch at Panera! Bonus!
We got up early this morning and went to early service as usual. Our choir leader's baby is still in the hospital, so she wasn't there. :( Then, we went to Sunday School and on to lunch at Quizno's. I had a regular size on wheat with cubed chicken, mozzerella (sp?) and marina sauce. It's not on the menu, but they make it for me and it's DELISH! Then, we headed to the hospital to visit our praise choir leader and her little boy. After that, we went to Circuit City and got the laptop and a case. $700 for everything. Not bad.
Yesterday, we went to lunch with my bridesmaids and then to a movie. Steven went to see Underworld, but we went to see Bride Wars. It was so cute and sweet. I cried. (Big surprise.) I highly recommend it. The next one I want to see is He's Just Not That Into You and then Madea Goes to Jail. The Madea movies are hilarious! I think my favorite is Madea's Family Reunion, but there's also Diary of a Mad Black Woman. They have a really good message, but they're funny, too.
Tonight, we're making homemade low-fat broccoli cheese soup and a small steak. I'm excited! I hope I've lost another bit on Wednesday.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Letter to Myself
Dearest Charlene,
You HAVE to do this. You can't cheat here and there and everywhere and expect this to work. You can lie to others, but you can't lie to yourself. And, you're only hurting YOURSELF. Remember what it felt like at 240? Remember how much happier and how much more beautiful you felt? Remember how much BETTER you felt? You can have that again. You MUST have that again. This is not a dress rehearsal. This your life, and this is your chance to change your life for the better. Yes, you have a wonderful husband. Yes, you have wonderful family and friends. And, yes, you currently are healthy, but what about in five short years? Ten years? You know what your goals are, and look what you've done with NAMI! You can be so much more than you are! What are you waiting for? Stumbling sometimes is alright, but you CANNOT have this mentality of a cheat here and a cheat there. You simply CAN'T. As Steven tells you, there is no "try", only "do". And, you can DO this. You have to. Now, start keeping that food log! You've done so well with starting to eat salad and drinking water. Plan things and STICK TO IT! You will not starve, and you will not die. Stop preparing, "Oh my God, do I have enough food to get me through the day?" You have enough to live on, trust me. Hang in there. I love you, and you can do this.
Trying to love you
more every day,
Me
You HAVE to do this. You can't cheat here and there and everywhere and expect this to work. You can lie to others, but you can't lie to yourself. And, you're only hurting YOURSELF. Remember what it felt like at 240? Remember how much happier and how much more beautiful you felt? Remember how much BETTER you felt? You can have that again. You MUST have that again. This is not a dress rehearsal. This your life, and this is your chance to change your life for the better. Yes, you have a wonderful husband. Yes, you have wonderful family and friends. And, yes, you currently are healthy, but what about in five short years? Ten years? You know what your goals are, and look what you've done with NAMI! You can be so much more than you are! What are you waiting for? Stumbling sometimes is alright, but you CANNOT have this mentality of a cheat here and a cheat there. You simply CAN'T. As Steven tells you, there is no "try", only "do". And, you can DO this. You have to. Now, start keeping that food log! You've done so well with starting to eat salad and drinking water. Plan things and STICK TO IT! You will not starve, and you will not die. Stop preparing, "Oh my God, do I have enough food to get me through the day?" You have enough to live on, trust me. Hang in there. I love you, and you can do this.
Trying to love you
more every day,
Me
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